You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason