We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".