I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu