Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just found a bag of teeth...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.