Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person