just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses