i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize