On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.