why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.