why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.