is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk