Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
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i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
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Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.