We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?