i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
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I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
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Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....