Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Iowa (319)

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Toaster

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  (319): On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you? (316): Toaster http://tfl.nu/fbwm
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Heyyyy darlin are you busy?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.

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  (319): Heyyyy darlin are you busy? (1-319): Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night. http://tfl.nu/pwb0
  Replies (34) Good night (25191) Bad night (1608)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  thanks it was an honor just to be nominated

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  (319): you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met (1-319): thanks it was an honor just to be nominated http://tfl.nu/yswc
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter

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  (319): Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter http://tfl.nu/rgti
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Decisions, decisions.

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  (319): So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you." (319): Decisions, decisions. http://tfl.nu/1ou5
  Replies (46) Good night (8618) Bad night (927)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.

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  (319): My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home. http://tfl.nu/nin0
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  The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue

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  (319): The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue http://tfl.nu/hmo2
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.

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  (319): How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules. http://tfl.nu/ttz2
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle

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  Since when is drunk an angle?

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  (319): He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle (648): Since when is drunk an angle? http://tfl.nu/dhcr
  Replies (12) Good night (7060) Bad night (762)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.

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  (319): In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums. http://tfl.nu/weac
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  I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.

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  (319): I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/jqgl
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Good thing spelling doesn't count.

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  (641): I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test. (319): Good thing spelling doesn't count. http://tfl.nu/8f4i
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"

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  (319): We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30" http://tfl.nu/oadk
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler

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  (319): the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler http://tfl.nu/fwfa
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online

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  (319): I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online http://tfl.nu/tzby
  Replies (13) Good night (5361) Bad night (787)