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been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
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