He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.