you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever