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The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
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