Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.