woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
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There was a lot of him and a little penis
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
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you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.