woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.