YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
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normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
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He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store