No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
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it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
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She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.