No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.