just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend