I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell