Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
