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whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
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