Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted