Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (914)

Last Night in New York (914)

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It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.

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(914): It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup. http://tfl.nu/9ulw

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Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.

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(914): Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random. http://tfl.nu/wx0e

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Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.

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(914): Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo. http://tfl.nu/y2dk

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I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr

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(914): I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr http://tfl.nu/3ptr

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You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.

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(914): You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking. http://tfl.nu/b0zf

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Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?

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(914): Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion? http://tfl.nu/d942

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Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.

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(914): Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger. http://tfl.nu/77lj

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If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.

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(914): If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick. http://tfl.nu/06qn

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I had to rip your toilet paper for you...

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(914): I had to rip your toilet paper for you... http://tfl.nu/xdup

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I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.

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(914): I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have. http://tfl.nu/s46w

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It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you

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(914): It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you http://tfl.nu/ff5c

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I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"

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(914): I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish" http://tfl.nu/lggm

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You went home with a man in a loincloth

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I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???

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(952): You went home with a man in a loincloth (914): I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween??? http://tfl.nu/0bv2

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Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"

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New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak

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(914): Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits" (1-914): New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak http://tfl.nu/prur

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true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"

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(914): true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS" http://tfl.nu/3w8r

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Last Night in New York (914)

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