so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there