He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?