Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ontario (905)

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  Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.

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  (905): Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well. http://tfl.nu/5evy
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  Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.

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  (905): Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now. http://tfl.nu/gjj1
  Replies (4) Good night (505) Bad night (2675) Order T-Shirt
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  he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love

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  (905): he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love http://tfl.nu/0ny7
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  Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.

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  (905): Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants. http://tfl.nu/3ltp
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  I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.

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  (905): I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do. http://tfl.nu/nqbr
  Replies (5) Good night (1522) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.

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  (905): I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio. http://tfl.nu/hxom
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  I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.

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  (905): I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb. http://tfl.nu/q1zp
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  I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.

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  (905): I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it. http://tfl.nu/6c57
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  How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.

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  (905): How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots. http://tfl.nu/qww5
  Replies (2) Good night (1684) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
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  I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though

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  Lolll I'll be sleeping

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  I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.

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  (905): I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though (289): Lolll I'll be sleeping (905): I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town. http://tfl.nu/s1jf
  Replies (2) Good night (2010) Bad night (545)
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  Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.

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  (905): Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out. http://tfl.nu/k7xk
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  Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"

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  (905): Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious" http://tfl.nu/f3vn
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  I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.

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  (905): I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out. http://tfl.nu/0m9y
  Replies (7) Good night (2288) Bad night (598)
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  She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her

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  (905): She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her http://tfl.nu/rw3c
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  I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight

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  (905): I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight http://tfl.nu/g5pa
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