I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.