Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!