I'm fucking your sister right now.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.