Texts From Last Night

Last Night in South Carolina (803)

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...

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  (803): I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid... http://tfl.nu/m79e
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  I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.

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  (803): I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at. http://tfl.nu/pwf4
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  One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.

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  (803): One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big. http://tfl.nu/i8v0
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  Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.

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  (803): Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard. http://tfl.nu/vzps
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  She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"

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  Olive Garden will never be the same.

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  (803): She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH" (864): Olive Garden will never be the same. http://tfl.nu/o2p7
  Replies (10) Good night (1669) Bad night (638)
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  i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  Did you watch the carolina game tonight?

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  (803): i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;) (1-803): Did you watch the carolina game tonight? http://tfl.nu/ae37
  Replies (18) Good night (2144) Bad night (754)
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  I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.

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  (803): I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me. http://tfl.nu/5d5j
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  A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"

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  (803): A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!" http://tfl.nu/76ag
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  You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  Am I going to be on condom boxes?

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  (803): You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time. (1-803): Am I going to be on condom boxes? http://tfl.nu/pwx5
  Replies (3) Good night (2110) Bad night (311) Order T-Shirt
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  My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.

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  (803): My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please. http://tfl.nu/htsn
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  Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.

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  (803): Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation. http://tfl.nu/hr81
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  Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.

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  (803): Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in. http://tfl.nu/noz8
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  I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.

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  (803): I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT. http://tfl.nu/pk4z
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  Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could

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  (803): Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could http://tfl.nu/i42k
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  I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.

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  (803): I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me. http://tfl.nu/en2s
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