I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.