You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
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Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there