dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.