She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.