I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven