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I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
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