Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
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I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
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I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?