My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.