Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (517)

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.

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  (517): I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/qnhv
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  btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.

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  (517): btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener. http://tfl.nu/k1i6
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  Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.

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  (517): Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons. http://tfl.nu/2wud
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  this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.

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  (517): this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/l5cn
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  There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are

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  (517): There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are http://tfl.nu/38ue
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  I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?

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  (517): I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm? http://tfl.nu/cxi2
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  Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.

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  (517): Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B. http://tfl.nu/djpk
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  I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.

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  (517): I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was. http://tfl.nu/tvxi
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  Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.

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  (517): Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying. http://tfl.nu/uj2j
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  This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.

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  (517): This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/9rmg
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  Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.

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  We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by

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  (517): Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity. (517): We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by http://tfl.nu/0fvy
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  Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.

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  (517): Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember. http://tfl.nu/2slr
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  i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?

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  (517): i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother? http://tfl.nu/7lqg
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  I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night

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  (517): I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night http://tfl.nu/lvdh
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  I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet

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  (517): I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet http://tfl.nu/acf5
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