New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
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this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend