i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon