We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...