My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.