And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question