You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.