Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (513)

Last Night in Ohio (513)

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You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.

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(513): You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing. http://tfl.nu/rrc8

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why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position

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(513): why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position http://tfl.nu/vjj2

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Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.

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(513): Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch. http://tfl.nu/dpne

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Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.

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(513): Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud. http://tfl.nu/fmdm

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I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.

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...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.

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That was a text you sent me last night.

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(513): I think I'd do Clint Eastwood. (440): ...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now. (513): That was a text you sent me last night. http://tfl.nu/tvw9

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I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.

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(513): I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me. http://tfl.nu/k06t

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sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.

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(513): sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things. http://tfl.nu/e6ox

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NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...

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God I fucking love America.

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(513): NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016... (1-513): God I fucking love America. http://tfl.nu/eses

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She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.

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(513): She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before. http://tfl.nu/zkf3

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Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home

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(513): Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home http://tfl.nu/jyep

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i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world

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(513): i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world http://tfl.nu/tdpx

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New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.

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(513): New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity. http://tfl.nu/ob6h

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If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?

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Get out now.

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(301): If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me? (513): Get out now. http://tfl.nu/w3kk

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You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.

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(513): You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/utqj

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Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.

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(513): Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot. http://tfl.nu/qalf

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Last Night in Ohio (513)

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