Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Ohio (513)

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  It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.

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  (513): It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world. http://tfl.nu/7ety
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  He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.

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  (513): He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet. http://tfl.nu/9hfz
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  Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.

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  (513): Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me. http://tfl.nu/5lbu
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  Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.

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  (513): Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives. http://tfl.nu/voqg
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  She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'

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  (513): She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste' http://tfl.nu/jrl8
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  I think they're German

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  Just say lederhosen and see what happens

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  (513): I think they're German (203): Just say lederhosen and see what happens http://tfl.nu/u5tp
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  Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.

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  (513): Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in. http://tfl.nu/71lv
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  That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber

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  (513): That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber http://tfl.nu/t4y1
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  seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been

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  (513): seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been http://tfl.nu/nato
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  Lets just say I chased with a burrito.

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  (513): Lets just say I chased with a burrito. http://tfl.nu/8s3e
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  i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution

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  (513): i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution http://tfl.nu/2azu
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  We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.

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  (513): We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit. http://tfl.nu/qhz6
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  trapped on the roof of the strip club. help

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  (513): trapped on the roof of the strip club. help http://tfl.nu/oy6k
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  One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?

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  (513): One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that? http://tfl.nu/b48m
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  Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.

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  (513): Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone. http://tfl.nu/y1zp
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