I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter