Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.