So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You are the jesus of drinking
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP