I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.