Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Washington (509)

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  you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.

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  (509): you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever. http://tfl.nu/fzjz
  Replies (10) Good night (634) Bad night (2180)
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  i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron

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  (509): i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron http://tfl.nu/ihph
  Replies (14) Good night (1535) Bad night (776)
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  We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.

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  You had me at shuffleboard and strippers

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  (509): We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers. (1-509): You had me at shuffleboard and strippers http://tfl.nu/do6h
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  Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?

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  (509): Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right? http://tfl.nu/bnll
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  Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes

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  (509): Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes http://tfl.nu/fkbb
  Replies (1) Good night (1045) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..

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  (509): I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today.. http://tfl.nu/chp9
  Replies (1) Good night (601) Bad night (1767) Order T-Shirt
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  I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate

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  (509): I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate http://tfl.nu/14fu
  Replies (6) Good night (2043) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
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  Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom

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  (509): Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom http://tfl.nu/fom9
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  Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish

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  (509): Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish http://tfl.nu/77ap
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  So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with

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  Isn't life beautiful?

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  (360): So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with (509): Isn't life beautiful? http://tfl.nu/f406
  Replies (13) Good night (1945) Bad night (915)
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  Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.

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  (509): Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival. http://tfl.nu/kooj
  Replies (9) Good night (1558) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters

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  (509): Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters http://tfl.nu/r1et
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  With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again

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  (509): With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again http://tfl.nu/qu3m
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  Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.

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  (509): Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape. http://tfl.nu/qdov
  Replies (7) Good night (2924) Bad night (528) Order T-Shirt
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  idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.

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  (509): idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow. http://tfl.nu/e8dm
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