Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Follow @tfln