Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap